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    Half A Million Dollars

    Old Granny Parkinson had won over half a million dollars in the lottery, but as she was a frail little woman her family was concerned that the shock of hearing the news might prove too much for her. Accordingly, they called in the family doctor to ask his advice. “I’ll tell her if you like,” […] More

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    Grass Eaters

    A man was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw a man eating grass by the roadside. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. “Why are you eating grass?” he asked the man. “I don’t have any money for food,” the poor man replied. “Oh, please come […] More

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    Forrest Gump Died And Went To Heaven

    As Forrest approaches the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter greeted him. “Ah, welcome, Mr. Gump. We’ve been anxiously awaiting your arrival.” Forrest looked intently, not quite sure what to make of the scene in front of him. “Forrest, before I let you into Heaven, I need you to answer three questions. Would that be alright?” Forrest […] More

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    Fix The Outhouse

    Ma was in the kitchen fiddling around when she hollers out, “Pa! You need to go out and fix the outhouse!” Pa replies, “There ain’t nuthin wrong with the outhouse.” Ma yells back, “Yes there is, now git out there and fix it.” Pa moseys out to the outhouse, looks around and yells back, “Ma! […] More

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    Why Folks Move To Florida?

    A couple, both 78, went to a sex therapist’s office in Winter Haven, Florida. The doctor asked, “What can I do for you ” The man asked, “Will you watch us have sexual intercourse ” The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed. When the couple had finished, the doctor said, “There’s nothing wrong with the way […] More

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    The Happily Married Couple

    Do you fart in bed ? If this story doesn’t make you cry for laughing so hard, let me know and I’ll pray for you. This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years, the only friction in their marriage was the husband’s habit of farting loudly every morning when […] More

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    The Brothel

    The madam opened the brothel door in Miami and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or early fifties. “May I help you sir?” she asked. The man replied, “I want to see Valerie.” “Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else”, said the […] More

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    Joe Knows How To Handle Things At Home

    Joe had asked Bob to help him out with the deck after work,… So Bob just went straight over to Joe’s place. When they got to the door, Joe went straight to his wife, gave her a hug,.. And told her how beautiful she was and how much he had missed her at work. When […] More

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    Growing Tomatoes

    A beautiful woman loved growing tomatoes, but couldn’t seem to get her tomatoes to turn red. One day, while taking a stroll, she came upon a gentleman neighbor who had the most beautiful garden full of huge red tomatoes. The woman asked the gentlemen, “What do you do to get your tomatoes so red?” The […] More

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    At Walmart

    A boy starts his first day at Walmart. His trainer says to him “I’ll take care of the first 2 customers to show you how it’s done and you can look after the 3rd.” So the trainer goes to the first customer and says “Can I help you, m’am?” Lady goes “I’m looking for some […] More

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    Jonny Went To School

    Jonny went to school one day and later that day his dad got a call saying he needs to pick up his son because he had had s*x with a teacher. When Jonny got home his dad was so happy he went out to the store and bought him a bike. When they bought the […] More

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    Johnny Is Taking A Shower

    Little Johnny is taking a shower with his mother and says, “Mom, what are those things on your chest!?” Unsure of how to reply, she tells Johnny to ask his dad at breakfast tomorrow, quite certain the matter would be forgotten. Johnny didn’t forget. The following morning he asked his father the same question. His […] More

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