Johnny Went To Confession

Johnny went to confession, at the beginning of Lent….

“Bless me Father for I have sinned.

It has been 3 months since my last confession.

In that time I have disobeyed my parents nine times, missed Sunday Mass once, had impure thoughts, oh,

about nine hundred times,

and played with a girl’s private parts.”

“Played with a girl’s private parts!” exclaimed the priest.

“Whoa, that’s pretty serious.

For your penance say three rosaries and wash your hands in holy water.”

So Johnny knelt down and fudged his way through the laborious incantations of the three rosaries,

then he made the trek up to the holy water font and started to wash his dirty little fingers,

when the girl who was behind him in the confessional line walks up and says,

“Move over, pal. I gotta gargle….”

Johnny Was Wondering One Day

Johnny’s First Day Of School