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    An Attorney Went Into A Bar For Martini

    An attorney went into a bar for a Martini and found himself beside a scruffy-looking old drunk who kept mumbling and studying something in his hand. He leaned closer while the old drunk held the tiny object up to the light, slurring, “Well, it looks plastic.” Then he rolled it between his fingers, adding, “But […] More

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    An Elderly Man Traveling By Plane

    An elderly man travelling by plane was in urgent need of a restroom facility. But each time he tried, it was occupied. The flight attendant, aware of his predicament, suggested he use the attendant’s ladies room, but cautioned him not to press any of the buttons. There next to the paper roll were four buttons […] More

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    Chester And Earl Went Hunting

    Chester and Earl are going hunting. Chester says to Earl, I’ll send my dog out to see if there are any ducks out in the pond. If there aren’t any ducks out there, I’m not going hunting.” So he sends the dog out to the pond. The dog comes back and barks twice. Chester says, “Well I’m not going to […] More

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    A Young Boy Is Pulling His Wagon Up A Hill

    A young boy is pulling his wagon up a hill when one of the back wheels falls off and rolls down the hill. The young boy says: “I’ll be darned.” A local pastor heard him and said: You should not say that. Next time your wheel falls off say: ‘Praise the Lord.’” So the next […] More

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    Two Men Went Bear Hunting

    Two men went bear hunting. While one stayed in the cabin, the other went out looking for a bear. He soon found a huge bear, shot at it but only wounded it. The enraged bear charged toward him, he dropped his rifle and started running for the cabin as fast as he could. He ran […] More

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    An Old Cowboy Walks Into A Saloon

    An old Cowboy Walks Into a Saloon, Naked….except for his boots. “Where your clothes at, Slim?”, ask the one man Back at the barn. I was feeding the horses when a beautiful blonde drove up. She says, ‘I wanna show you something in the barn. Follow me.’ So I followed her. She says, ‘Take off […] More

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    Johnny Got On The Bus

    A little Johnny got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar backwards. The little Johnny asked why he wore his collar backwards. The man, who was a priest, said, ‘I am a Father.’ The little Johnny replied, ‘My Daddy is also a father, but he […] More

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    Johnny And A Girl Are Playing

    Little Johnny and a little girl are playing. Little Johnny pulls down his shorts and says, “I have one of these and you don’t.” The little girl starts crying and crying and runs home to her mother. The next day Little Johnny and the girl are playing together again. Once again Little Johnny points to […] More

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    An Elderly Man Came Into A Shop

    An elderly man came into a shop with a ‘Salesman Wanted’ sign in a window. He went up to the owner & said, “I-I-I w-w-wanna-t the j-joooob-b.” “I don’t know if this job would suit you because of your speaking impediment,” said the owner. “I h-h-havvve a w-wi-wiiiife & s-s-s-six k-kkkids, iiii-I re-really neeeed thi-thi-this […] More

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    A Crusty Old Man Walks Into A Bank

    A crusty old man walks into a bank and says to the teller, “I want to open a f*cking checking account.” The astonished woman replies, “I beg your pardon, but that kind of language is not tolerated in this bank.” The woman leaves the window & goes over to the bank manager to inform him […] More

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    A Midwest Farmer Was Describing His Lifestyle

    A Midwest farmer was describing his lifestyle to a touring group of city folks. “One of the benefits of this profession,” he explained, “is that we have built-in weather predictions.” “What do you mean by that?” asked one inquisitive visitor. “When the cows are standing,” the farmer explained, “it means no rain is likely for […] More

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