A lawyer died and was standing

A lawyer died and was standing in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.
St. Peter said, “you can’t come in here… you have to go to the other place”.
But the lawyer was really good and pleaded his case to the point where St. Peter said, “OK… here’s what I’ll do.
You will spend the same amount of time in hell as you did on earth, and then you can spend the rest of eternity up here.”
The lawyer figured this wasn’t too bad of a deal, so he said “OK”.
St. Peter said, “Great… I’ll see you in 350 years.”.
The lawyer said,
“But, how is that possible… I’m only 65 years old!”.
St Peter said, “We go by billing hours

An obnoxious drunk stumbles

Two tourists were driving