A guy walks into a bar and sits down. He starts dialing numbers… Like a telephone… On his hand and talking into his hand. The bartender walks over and tells him this is a very tough neighborhood and he doesn’t need any trouble here. The guy says, “You don’t understand. I’m very hi-tech. I had […] More
Moishe the Carpenter, returning home with his week’s wages, was accosted by an armed robber on a deserted street. “Take my money,” said Moishe, “but do me a favour: shoot a bullet through my hat otherwise my wife won’t believe I was robbed.” The robber obliged. He threw Moishe’s hat into the air and put […] More
On the first day of their Honeymoon, the very naive blonde virgin bride slipped into a sexy but sweet nightie and, with great anticipation, crawled into bed, only to find that her new Christian husband had settled down on the couch. When she asked him why he was apparently not going to make love to […] More
A man walks into a bar and orders a drink, as the man is sucking down the drink he looks over and notices a dog licking his nuts. The man thought nothing of it and orders another drink. Time goes by and the man notices the dog still licking his balls. So the man looks […] More
Concerned about her relationship, a woman approaches her doctor and says “Doc, I’m getting married this week-end and my fiancée thinks I’m a v*rgin, is there anything you can do to help me?” The doctor says, “Medically, no, but here’s something you can try… On the wedding night, when you’re getting ready for bed, take […] More
An elderly couple who were childhood sweethearts had married and settled down in their old neighborhood. They we’re celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary and decided to walk down the street to their old school. There, they hold hands as they find the old desk they’d shared and where he had carved “I love you, Sally.” […] More
Women are honest, loyal, and forgiving. They are smart, knowing that knowledge is power. But they still know how to use their softer side to make a point. Women want to be the best for their family, their friends, and themselves. Their hearts break when a friend dies. They have sorrow at the loss of […] More
Two gay men decide to have a baby. They mix their sperm together and have a surrogate mother artificially inseminated with it. When the baby is born, they rush to the hospital. A dozen babies are in the ward, eleven of whom are crying and screaming. Over in the corner, one baby is smiling serenely. […] More
Three ministers are talking about how they treat the collection plate take. The first minister says, “I draw a circle on the floor and then toss the money in the air. Any money that lands in the circle goes to the church; whatever lands outside of it goes to me.” “That’s pretty much my system,” […] More
Two fishermen are out on the lake when one of them drops his wallet overboard. Before the man can grab it, a carp comes along and bats the wallet into the air. Before it hits the surface, another carp a few feet away leaps out of the water and bats the wallet in the air […] More
The blonde reported for her university final examination that consists of yes/no type questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes and then, in a fit of inspiration, takes out her purse, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin, marking the answer sheet: Yes for […] More
I got chatting to a girl in a club. “Can I buy you a drink ?” I asked. “Have you not got a girlfriend ?” she replied, “Guys like you always have girlfriends.” “No, sadly we broke up just over a month ago,” I assured her. “Oh I’m sorry to hear that,” she said, “Go […] More
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