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There was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to-be a lantern and said, ‘Here. You hold this high so I can see what I am doing.’ Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world. Whoa there, said the doctor, ‘Don’t be in such a rush to put that lantern down. I think there’s another […] More

Little Leroy came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner. His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted. “Mom, I want a bike for my birthday.” Little Leroy was a bit of a troublemaker. He had gotten into trouble at school […] More

A man and a woman who had never met before but were both married to other people found themselves assigned to the same sleeping compartment on a trans-continental train… Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper bunk and she in […] More

On Little Johnny’s first day of school, The teacher asked Johnny what 10+10 is and he said he doesn’t know. So his teacher told him to go home and find out. After school, he went to ask his dad but he was fixing the car. Johnny: Daddy what is 10+10 dad: f*** off can’t you […] More

Johnny went to confession, at the beginning of Lent…. “Bless me Father for I have sinned. It has been 3 months since my last confession. In that time I have disobeyed my parents nine times, missed Sunday Mass once, had impure thoughts, oh, about nine hundred times, and played with a girl’s private parts.” “Played […] More

Little Johnny was wondering one day and decided to ask his dad… “Dad, how come big dogs can make little dogs and big cats can make little cats but why can’t Big trains make little trains?” Little Johnny’s father replied, “Well Johnny, this sounds like a great quey for your mother.” So off Johnny went […] More

Little Johnny was out hunting with his dad late in the year. Dad comes by to see how Johnny is doing. Johnny says, “Except for my wiener getting cold when I went pee, I’m OK.” His dad tells him, “Well if it gets cold again just rub it a little bit to warm it up!” […] More

A couple was having dinner one evening when the husband reached across the table, took his wife’s hand in his and said; “Beth, soon we will be married 30 years, and there’s something I have to know. In all of these 30 years, have you ever been unfaithful to me?” Beth replied, “Well Charles, I […] More

The wife was very unhappy with her old car and complained a lot to her husband: Knowing her birthday was coming up shortly, she said to her husband… “Buy me a surprise for my birthday!” she said. “Something that accelerates from 0 to 100 in 4 seconds! And I would prefer a blue one!” Happy […] More

John and Mary were having dinner in a very fine restaurant. Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few paces away noticed that John was ever so slowly, silently sliding down his chair and under the table, while Mary acted quite unconcerned. Their waitress watched as John slid all the way down his […] More

A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother. Her mother asked, “How was the honeymoon?” “Oh, mama,” she replied, “The honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic…” Suddenly she burst out crying. “But, mama, as soon as we returned he started using the most horrible […] More