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A newlywed couple moves into their new house. One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, “Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?” The husband says, “What do I look like, Mr. Plumber?” A few days go by, and he comes […] More

On a warm evening, a man walks into a bar one night. He goes up to the cheerful-looking bartender and asks for his favourite premium beer. “Certainly, sir. That’ll be 1 cent.” “One single penny?!” exclaimed the man. The barman replied, “Yes, sir. Just one penny.” As he takes the glass of delicious beer and […] More

When I was 13, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend with big tits. When I was 16, I got a girlfriend with big tits, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with zest for life. In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was […] More

You stand in front of two doors. A guard stands next to each door. You know the following things: one path leads to paradise, the other leads to death. You cannot distinguish between the two doors. You also know that one of the two guards always tells the truth and the other always lies. You […] More

A monkey is sitting in a tree smoking a joint when a lizard walks past, looks up and says to the monkey“Hey, what’re you doing?” The monkey replies, “Smoking’ a joint, come up and have some.” So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they smoke a few joints. After a […] More

A husband and wife are eating at Hooters for their 20th anniversary. A busty gorgeous blond waitress comes up and asks them what they’d like to drink. “Oh my god, you are gorgeous.” Said the husband with the intent of pissing his wife off. His wife just shook her head and smiled. “Why don’t you […] More

A guy goes on to a ship to sail (and work) but he notices no women on board. so he runs to the captian Guy: capt. capt.! theres no women on borad what will be do for pleasure??? capt.:Ohh… dont worry me laddie just stick ur d*ck in that barrel and everything will be alright. […] More

A man drove past a traffic camera and saw it flash. He couldn’t believe he had been caught speeding when he was driving below the speed limit for once! He turned around and drove past again, this time even slower. But as he passed the camera, it flashed again. He was angry! He turned around […] More

A young man and woman were eager to enjoy a picnic in the park one Saturday noon, and they opted to go through a fast-food drive-in for a quick snack. They ordered, paid, got their bag of goodies, and headed for the park. When they opened the bag, it was full on money instead of […] More

While enjoying a drink at the bar a guy decided to try his luck with an attractive young girl sitting alone. To his surprise, she asked him to join her for a drink and eventually asked if he’d like to come back to her place. The pair jumped into a taxi and went back to […] More

A Japanese ship was leaving the port and on its way to the open sea. The captain went to go oil some parts of the ship and took his ring off so it wouldn’t get damaged. He left it on the table next to his bunk. When he returned, it was missing. He had suspected […] More