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A little girl that didn’t know what cursing or what sex was. Two nights before thanksgiving, she heard her parents having sex. Her father said: “Oh honey, I love your luscious tits.” Then her mother said: “And I love your slim dick!” The next morning, the girl asked her father what “luscious tits” were. The […] More

A lady goes into the butcher shop and as she is walking around the store, she spies a beef tongue in the butcher’s counter. The lady asks, “What in the world is that?” “Beef tongue,” replies the butcher! The lady gives a little involuntary shudder, “Ewww! Gross! No way would I put anything in my […] More

In the days of the Wild West, there was a young cowboy who wanted more than anything to be the greatest gunfighter in the world. He practised every minute of his spare time, but he knew that he wasn’t yet first-rate and that there must be something he was doing wrong. Sitting in a saloon […] More

A little boy blows up a balloon and starts flicking it all around the house with his finger. His mother tells him to stop it as he’s liable to break something, but the boy continues: “Johnny!” Mum screams. “Knock it off.” You’re going to break something.” He stops and eventually his mum leaves for a […] More

Elsa, a 97-year-old midwife, finally passed away after a long and happy life. When she arrived at the Pearly Gates, St Peter was standing there waiting for her. He said, “Welcome, Elsa. Do you have a last wish before you enter paradise?” “I do,” Elsa replied “I would like to return to Earth for a […] More

He glances into the vast fields and sees a farmer screwing a sheep. He is utterly disgusted. A minute later, he slams on his brakes and says, “That was horrible. I’m going to give that man a piece of my mind!” He turns around and soon arrives at the farmhouse. He angrily stomps to the […] More

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. Why of course, comes the reply. The first man then asks: Where are you from? I’m from Ireland, replies the second man. The first man responds: You don’t say, I’m from Ireland too! Let’s […] More

Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells Luther, “Ya know, I reckon I’m ’bout ready for a vacation… only this year I’m gonna do it differently. “ “The last few years, I been takin’ your advice ’bout where to go. Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I […] More

A cat died and went to Heaven. God met the animal at the Pearly Gates and said, “You have been a good cat all of these years. Anything you want is yours for the asking.” The cat thought for a moment and then said, “All my life I lived on a farm and slept on […] More

Little Johnny walks in on his grandfather smoking a cigar. “May I smoke a cigar?” Asks Johnny. The grandpa replies “Well, does your d*ck touch your asshole?” Johnny replied “No.” and left the room. The next day Johnny sees his Grandpa getting into a car. “Can I drive the car?” Asks Johnny. “Does your d*ck […] More

A young couple moved into a new neighborhood. The next morning while they are eating breakfast, the young woman sees her neighbor hanging the wash outside. “That laundry is not very clean,” she said. “She doesn’t know how to wash correctly. Perhaps she needs better laundry soap.” Her husband looked on, but remained silent. Every […] More