A solicitor’s dog, running around town unleashed, heads for a butcher shop and steals a beef join. The butcher goes to the lawyer’s office and asks, “if a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog’s owner?” The […] More
Once upon a time a married couple celebrated their 25th marriage anniversary. They had become famous in the city for not having a single conflict in their period of 25 years. Local newspaper editors had gathered at the occasion to find out the secret of their well known “happy going marriage”. Editor: “Sir. It’s amazingly […] More
A man and woman had been married for 30 years, and in those 30 years, they always left the lights off when having fun. He was embarrassed and scared that he couldn’t please her, so he always used a big di*do on her. All these years she had no clue. One day, she decided to […] More
A man is in a hotel lobby He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he acciedently bumbs into a woman besides him, and as he does his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite starled. The man turns to her and says, “ma’am […] More
Three old women die and go to heaven. When they reach the gates of heaven St. Peter tells them that they have to answer a question to enter. Then he asks them which one wants to go first. The oldest of the three say I will go first and set an example for the other […] More
Three bulls heard via the grapevine that the rancher was going to bring yet another bull onto the ranch, and the prospect raised a discussion among them. First Bull: “Boys, we all know I’ve been here 5 years. Once we settled our differences, we agreed on which 100 of the cows would be mine. Now, […] More
An old couple took in an 18-year-old girl as a lodger. She asked if she could have a bath, but the woman of the house told her they didn’t have a bath, although if she wanted to, she could use a tin bath in front of the fire. “Monday’s the best night when my husband […] More
In a very exclusive private school near California’s Silicon Valley, a third-grade teacher was lecturing her upper-high-class students about the less fortunate. She asked them each to write an essay about a poor family in the area. One little girl’s paper began, “Once upon a time there was a poor family. The father was poor. […] More
A man standing at a urinal notices that he’s being watched by a midget. “Wow,” comments the midget. “Those are the nicest balls I have ever seen!” Surprised and flattered, the man thanks the midget and continues to pee. Suddenly, the midget pulls up a step ladder right next to the urinal and says, “Listen, […] More
A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice. After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, “What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you’re out […] More
One afternoon a man came home from work to find total mayhem in his house. His three children were outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard. The door of his wife’s car was open, as was the front door to the […] More
An elderly couple was just settled down for bed when the old man realized he left the lights on in the greenhouse in the back yard. Then they heard voices. Three men had broken into the greenhouse. Scared, they called the police. The dispatcher replied, he would send an officer as soon as one became […] More
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