A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk. When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons. So he knocked on the door to clarify the point. The blonde […] More
A bus full of nuns crashes and they all die and go to the pearly gates. There they are met by St Peter. St Peter asks the first nun: “Sister, have you ever touched a man unit?” The Sister replies: “Yes, with the tip of my finger” “OK, dip the tip of your finger in […] More
A little boy asks his mother, “Mom, is it possible to eat electricity?” The mother says: ‘What? Where did you hear that? The boy replied: “Yesterday I heard Dad say to you, ‘Turn off the light and put it in your mouth.’ More
A girl realized that she had grown hair between her legs. She got worried and asked her mom about that hair. Her mom calmly said, “That part where the hair has grown is called your monkey. Be proud that your monkey has grown hair.” The girl smiled. At dinner, she told her sister, “My monkey […] More
A woman, cranky because her husband was late coming home again, decided to leave a note, saying, “I’ve had enough and have left you. Don’t bother coming after me.” Then she hide under the bed to see his reaction. After a short while, the husband comes home and she could hear him in the kitchen […] More
Two young lovers go up to the mountains for a romantic winter vacation. When they get to the cabin, the guy goes out to chop some wood to start the fireplace. When he gets back, he says, “Honey, my hands are freezing!” To that she replies “Well, come here and I’ll warm them between my […] More
A boy comes back from school, disappointed, because he got a 0 on a geography exam. “The teacher gave me a zero because I couldn’t answer a question on Portugal,” he said. His mother asked, “What was the question?” “Where’s Portugal.” “The idiot teacher, I’m going to call the principal’s office. In the meantime we’re […] More
A man is driving down the road and his car breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, “My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?” The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to […] More
Concerned about her relationship, a woman approaches her doctor and says “Doc, I’m getting married this week-end and my fiancée thinks I’m a v*rgin, is there anything you can do to help me?” The doctor says, “Medically, no, but here’s something you can try… On the wedding night, when you’re getting ready for bed, take […] More
A blonde was walking her dogs when a man walking in the opposite direction says “oh my, you have such beautiful dogs.. what are their names?” The blonde replies “Well, the taller one is Timex and the shorter one is Rolex.” The man responds “Huh.. that’s interesting.. why did you name them such names?” The […] More
A boy starts his first day at Walmart. His trainer says to him “I’ll take care of the first 2 customers to show you how it’s done and you can look after the 3rd.” So the trainer goes to the first customer and says “Can I help you, m’am?” Lady goes “I’m looking for some […] More
Jonny went to school one day and later that day his dad got a call saying he needs to pick up his son because he had had s*x with a teacher. When Jonny got home his dad was so happy he went out to the store and bought him a bike. When they bought the […] More
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