A lady walks into a fancy jewelry store. She browses around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely she inadvertently breaks wind. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and prays that a sales person […] More
A newlywed couple moves into their new house. One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, “Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?” The husband says, “What do I look like, Mr. Plumber?” A few days go by, and he comes […] More
Jim calls in to work and says, “Hey, boss I not come work today, I really sick. I got headache, stomach ache and my legs hurt. I not come work.” The boss says, “You know Jim, I really need you today. When I feel like this I go to my wife and tell her give […] More
A man buys a lie detector robot that slaps people who lie. He decides to test it at dinner. He asks his son, “Son, where were you today during school hours?” “At school.” The robot slaps the son. “Okay, I went to the movies!” The father asks, “Which one?” “Harry Potter.” The robot slaps the […] More
A very ‘straight and honest’ girl is going to Town. Before she left, her mother gave her some advice: “Daughter, when you’re in Town and if you’re looking for a match there,… you must take note of the following the requirements mother set for you. You must find a man that is ‘faithful’, ‘thrifty’ and […] More
Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven, where they are met at the Perly Gates by St. Peter. He says, “Ladies, you all led such wonderful lives, that I’m granting you six months to go back to Earth and be anyone you want.” The first nun says, “I want-a to be Sophia Loren” and […] More
A young man goes into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist “If he could have a c0ndom explaining that his girlfriend has invited him for dinner and I think she is expecting something from me!” The pharmacist gives him the condom; and as the young man is going out, he returns and tells him: “Give […] More
There were Two Nuns. One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM), and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL). It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent. SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? […] More
Husband gets home and tells his wife “quick, get me a beer before it starts.” She gets the beer. He chugs it and says “quick, get me another before it starts.” She obliges. Husband again chugs it and says “quick, get me another beer before it starts.” The wife replies “if you want another beer […] More
One day three women went for a job interview. The man interviewing them posed all three the same question. What would you do if you found an extra €50 in on your paycheck that you shouldn’t have received? The first one said, “I’d give it back as it wasn’t mine and I wasn’t entitled to […] More
A guy goes into a tattoo parlor and asks for a tattoo of a $100 bill on his weapon. Curious, the tattoo artist asks him why he would possibly want that. “Three reasons: I like to play with my money, I like to watch my money grow, and a hundred dollars seems to be the […] More
A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them in the office and they took off for her house. Exhausted from the afternoon’s activities, they fell asleep and awoke at around 8 p.m. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes […] More
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