One day, a wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman. Naturally, she was very upset. “You are a disrespectful pig!” she cried. “How dare you do this to me! I’m a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I’m leaving you. I want […] More
Guy : Doctor, my Girlfriend is pregnant but we always use protection and the rubber never broke. How is it possible? Doctor : Let me tell you a story: “There was once a Hunter who always carried a gun wherever he went. One day he took out his Umbrella instead of his Gun and went […] More
A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have […] More
Two young lovers go up to the mountains for a romantic winter vacation. When they get to the cabin, the guy goes out to chop some wood to start the fireplace. When he gets back, he says, “Honey, my hands are freezing!” To that she replies “Well, come here and I’ll warm them between my […] More
A man escapes a prison where he has been locked up for 15 years. He goes into a house and finds a young couple in bed. He forces the young man into a chair and duck taped him there. Then he leans over the woman and kisses her neck, then he goes into the bathroom. […] More
A boy comes back from school, disappointed, because he got a 0 on a geography exam. “The teacher gave me a zero because I couldn’t answer a question on Portugal,” he said. His mother asked, “What was the question?” “Where’s Portugal.” “The idiot teacher, I’m going to call the principal’s office. In the meantime we’re […] More
Concerned about her relationship, a woman approaches her doctor and says “Doc, I’m getting married this week-end and my fiancée thinks I’m a v*rgin, is there anything you can do to help me?” The doctor says, “Medically, no, but here’s something you can try… On the wedding night, when you’re getting ready for bed, take […] More
A beautiful woman is sitting next to the little johnny on a plane. There is terrible turbulence and then the plane goes into a sudden nosedive. The Captain comes on the intercom and says “I hate to have to tell you this folk, but we might not walk away from this one.” Everyone begins to […] More
A blonde was walking her dogs when a man walking in the opposite direction says “oh my, you have such beautiful dogs.. what are their names?” The blonde replies “Well, the taller one is Timex and the shorter one is Rolex.” The man responds “Huh.. that’s interesting.. why did you name them such names?” The […] More
Andy is put in a cell with a dirt floor and only one window. The window is too high for him to reach. The only thing in the cell is a shovel. He won’t be able to get any food or water and only has two days to escape or he’ll die. Andy can’t dig […] More
A beautiful woman loved growing tomatoes, but couldn’t seem to get her tomatoes to turn red. One day, while taking a stroll, she came upon a gentleman neighbor who had the most beautiful garden full of huge red tomatoes. The woman asked the gentlemen, “What do you do to get your tomatoes so red?” The […] More
A boy starts his first day at Walmart. His trainer says to him “I’ll take care of the first 2 customers to show you how it’s done and you can look after the 3rd.” So the trainer goes to the first customer and says “Can I help you, m’am?” Lady goes “I’m looking for some […] More
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