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    A Blonde Is Swimming In A River

    A blonde is swimming in a river. A man walks up and asks her, “What are you doing in there?” She says, “I’m washing my clothes.” The man asks, “Why don’t you use a washing machine?” The blonde says, “I tried that, but it was too dizzy.” More

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    A Mother Had 3 Virgin Daughters

    A Mother had 3 virgin daughters. They were all getting married within a few weeks of each other. But Mom was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started. So she made them all promise to send a postcard from their honeymoons with a few words on how marital procreation felt. The […] More

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    The Older Man Boasts To The Doctor

    A 92 year old man went to the doctor for his annual check-up. The doctor asked the man how he was feeling, and the 92 year old said, “Things are great, and I’ve never felt better!” “I now have a 20 year old bride who is pregnant with my child.” “What do you think about […] More

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    A Wife Called The Phone Company

    A Kansas farmwife called the local phone company to report her telephone failed to ring when her friends called and that on a few occasions, When it did ring, her dog always moaned right before the phone rang. The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile lady. He […] More

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    An Attorney Went Into A Bar For Martini

    An attorney went into a bar for a Martini and found himself beside a scruffy-looking old drunk who kept mumbling and studying something in his hand. He leaned closer while the old drunk held the tiny object up to the light, slurring, “Well, it looks plastic.” Then he rolled it between his fingers, adding, “But […] More

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    An Elderly Man Traveling By Plane

    An elderly man travelling by plane was in urgent need of a restroom facility. But each time he tried, it was occupied. The flight attendant, aware of his predicament, suggested he use the attendant’s ladies room, but cautioned him not to press any of the buttons. There next to the paper roll were four buttons […] More

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    Chester And Earl Went Hunting

    Chester and Earl are going hunting. Chester says to Earl, I’ll send my dog out to see if there are any ducks out in the pond. If there aren’t any ducks out there, I’m not going hunting.” So he sends the dog out to the pond. The dog comes back and barks twice. Chester says, “Well I’m not going to […] More

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    A Census Taker In A Rural Area

    A census taker in a rural area went up to a farmhouse and knocked. When an old woman came to the door, he asked her how many children she had and their ages. She said, “Let’s see now, there’s the twins, Sally and Billy, they’re eighteen. And the twins, Seth & Beth, they’re sixteen. And […] More

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    A Crusty Old Man Walks Into A Bank

    A crusty old man walks into a bank and says to the teller, “I want to open a f*cking checking account.” The astonished woman replies, “I beg your pardon, but that kind of language is not tolerated in this bank.” The woman leaves the window & goes over to the bank manager to inform him […] More

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    A Midwest Farmer Was Describing His Lifestyle

    A Midwest farmer was describing his lifestyle to a touring group of city folks. “One of the benefits of this profession,” he explained, “is that we have built-in weather predictions.” “What do you mean by that?” asked one inquisitive visitor. “When the cows are standing,” the farmer explained, “it means no rain is likely for […] More

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