A cabbie picks up a Nun.
She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won’t stop staring at her.
She asks him why he is staring.
He replies: ‘I have a question to ask you but I don’t want to offend you.’
She answers, ‘My son, you cannot offend me.
When you’re as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything.
I’m sure that there’s nothing’ ‘Well, I’ve always had a fantasy to make love with a nun.’
She responds,‘Well, let’s see what we can do about that:
You have to be single You must be Catholic.
I have to save my purity, so you will have to enter from behind.
The cab driver is very excited and says,‘Yes, I’m single, Catholic, and I’m happy to enter from behind!’
‘OK’ the nun says ‘Pull into the next alley.’
The nun fulfills his fantasy, in a very exploded way.
But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.
‘My dear child,’ says the nun, ‘why are you crying?’
‘Forgive me but I’ve sinned.
I lied and I must confess, I’m married and I’m Jewish.’
The nun says, ‘That’s OK.
My name is Kevin and I’m going to fancy dress party.’
A Woman Hide Under Bed To Check Her Husband
A woman, cranky because her husband was late coming home
again, decided to leave a note, saying, “I’ve had enough
and have left you. Don’t bother coming after me.” Then
she hide under the bed to see his reaction. After a short
while, the husband comes home and she could hear him in the
kitchen before he comes into the bedroom. She could see him
walk towards the dresser and pick up the note. After a few
minutes, he wrote something on it before picking up the
phone and calling someone. “She’s finally gone…yeah I
know, about bloody time, I’m coming to see you, put on
that hot French nightie. I love you…can’t wait to see
you…we’ll do all the naughty things you like. “He hung
up, grabbed his keys and left. She heard the car drive off
as she came out from under the bed. Seething with rage and
with tears in her eyes she grabbed the note to see what he
wrote… “I can see your feet We’re outta bread: be back
in five minutes.
The Wife Checked Her Husband’s Phone
The wife checked her husband’s phone and found these
names: ‘The tender one’ ‘The amazing one’ ‘Lady of
my dreams, She got angry and called the first number to find
out that was his mother. Then she called the second number
to which his sister replied. When she dialed the third
number her own phone rang. She cried until her eyes got
swollen because she had doubted her innocent husband, so she
gave him her whole month’s salary to make up for it.
Husband took the money and bought a gift for his girlfriend
whose name was saved as ‘Uncle Mike the mechanic’
My Wife is Cheating On Me
I’m furious, my wife is cheating on me with a painter. I
found traces of paint in the bed. It’s good that with a
painter, and mine cheats on me with a truck. “That’s
enough, how about a truck?” “I found a driver in bed.”
The Older Man Boasts To The Doctor
A 92 year old man went to the doctor for his annual
check-up. The doctor asked the man how he was feeling, and
the 92 year old said, “Things are great, and I’ve never
felt better!” “I now have a 20 year old bride who is
pregnant with my child.” “What do you think about that,
doc?” The doctor considered the question for a minute, and
then began to tell a story. “I have an older friend, much
like you, who is an avid hunter and never misses a
season.” “One day he was setting off to go hunting, but
being a bit absent minded, he accidentally forgot to take
his ammunition.” “As he neared a lake, he came across a
very nice beaver frolicking at the water’s edge.” “By
now, he realized he had left his ammo at home, and so, he
couldn’t shoot the magnificent creature.”
“Nonetheless, he lifted his favorite hunting rifle, aimed
down the sites, and yelled ‘bang bang’.”
“Miraculously, two shots rang out and the beaver was
slain.” “Now, what do you think of that?” asked the
doctor. Theelder man scatched his chin thoughtfully, then
said, “Logic would strongly suggest that somebody else
pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver.” The doctor
nodded, “My thoughts exactly.”
